Oh Romulus, it appears you never knew me at all.

I was always going to name our city Rome.

There are times when words fail us – when the expressions of emotion that come to mind seem so overused and cliche. Never fear, Hallmark Antony & Co. is here! We strive to bring ancient wisdom to every occasion you encounter. Through the medium of brand-new-fresh-original translations of Gaius Valerius Catullus’s poetry, you can now find the right words for every special someone in your life.

In an utterly unsurprising twist, three intercepted letters recovered from the archives of the God of Thieves have surfaced following a crackdown on godly crimes and corruption in Olympus (watch out, Zeus!). Exclusively printed here, for the first time ever!